What are My Caregiver Responsibilities?

As a caregiver, your responsibilities will depend on the level of independence of your loved one. Some people may only need the occasional check in while others may need around the clock care with higher medical needs. In the beginning, the types of tasks can be daunting and unexpected. This article aims to cover the most common aspects of caregiving, and ways to make it easier for you and your loved one.

What Comes Next

Think of all the basic things you do day to day, from getting out of bed to brushing your teeth, using the bathroom and taking a shower. All of these are considered Activities of Daily Living. In this article, we will explore what things you might encounter, and ways to make it safe.

Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)

These by definition are the basic hygiene and survival aspects that keep someone alive and healthy. They are biological tasks that are necessary.

Examples of basic activities of daily living (Source: Cleveland Clinic)

ADL	What it involves
Bathing	Using soap, water, towels and other supplies to wash, rinse and dry your skin. Standing, sitting or moving in ways that allow you to bathe every part of your body.
Personal hygiene and grooming	Cleaning your teeth, including dental orthotics and prosthetics. Washing, drying and styling your hair. Using supplies like cosmetics, deodorant, tweezers, scissors and nail clippers for grooming.
Toileting and continence	Moving to the toilet and getting into the proper position. Using supplies like toilet paper and menstrual products. Managing devices like a catheter or colostomy. Controlling when you pee (bladder function) and poop (bowel function).
Eating and feeding	Chewing and swallowing food so it can reach your stomach. Using utensils to bring food from the plate to your mouth.
Dressing	Getting clothes from closets or drawers and putting them onto your body in the right order. Using zippers, buttons, snaps and Velcro as needed. Putting on or removing prosthetic devices or splints.
Moving/transferring	Moving from one spot to another to complete your daily routine (for example, from your bed to the bathroom, or from your couch to the kitchen).

For an able-bodied person, these are tasks that happen on autopilot. They are often quick, routine, and require little effort. For someone who may no longer have the ability to physically or mentally keep up, they become crucial caregiver tasks. These tasks are the most important and are often a day-to-day requirement to maintain proper health and care.

Moving/Transferring

Getting out of bed is a luxury. As people progress into immobility, they may need assistance moving to and from the bed, couch, or a chair. As a caregiver, it is extremely important to know safe ways to transfer your loved one without injuring either one of you. Gait belts, pivot discs, and handrails can all be helpful in making sure neither of you are hurt. Some helpful tips include:

• Stand with your feet should width apart

• Lift with your legs, not your back

• Use a towel or a gait belt to secure your loved one's waist and have them grip your shoulders and lean forward to move from sitting to standing.

• Use training videos to help understand the safest ways to move your loved one.

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

Bathing

Maintaining cleanliness is not only about odor or hygiene, but it also prevents serious conditions like sores or fungal infections. Especially with individuals with a compromised immune system, bathing is the first line of defense. Fecal matter build-up, sweat, and other bodily fluids can quickly become grounds for bacteria not only making the individual sick but can also make the caregiver sick. A few suggestions to make bathing more comfortable for both parties involved include:

• Investing in a shower chair - this allows your loved one to be seated reducing risk of falls

• Use the towel and shower head method - let your loved one cover their body with a towel, that you can move as you get to each section. Use a shower head to clean individual sections, rather than the whole body at once.

• Avoid tub baths, as the water poses a drowning risk and sitting/ standing up from a slippery surface can increase fall risk.

• Use soft towels to avoid causing abrasion on fragile, older skin.

• Keep the bathroom at a reasonable temperature and use warm, not scaling water.

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

Dressing

The truth is caregiving for an older loved one is very similar to caring for a toddler or school-aged child. That is not because they are incapable, but rather their mental and physical capabilities are limited as they become more reliant on you. Especially in conditions like dementia or Alzheimer's, there may be times when your loved one can independently get dressed but it may not fit the weather/ occasion. In other situations, your loved one may require assistance with zipper, buttons, and putting on clothing. Avoid items with complex designs, like women's blouses with many cut outs or strings. Keep options limited to outfits that fit the season, like shorts and t-shirts for summer or coats and pants for winter.

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

Hygiene/ Grooming

Brushing teeth, brushing hair, trimming nails, applying lotion, washing hands, the list can go on of the many forms of grooming and hygiene practices that occur. Simple grooming techniques can not only improve well-being, but it also helps with confidence. Giving a sense of pride and confidence through cleanliness is an easy way to ease some of the discomfort.

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

Toileting

Toileting is a common concern for both caregivers, and the person being cared for. There is a specific level of privateness that comes with using the bathroom that creates an initial discomfort for both parties involved. As time goes on, this does change and it becomes a normal routine but the first few times it is natural to feel uncomfortable, nervous, or even embarrassed. For previous independent individuals, needing toileting assistance can also induce feelings of shame or even frustration having an intimate moment become public. Patience is extremely important for both of you, especially in the initial stages. While these videos are not inclusive of all the changes you may experience, they are great places to start. (Don't worry we have a huge catalogue of the best caregiving videos here!)

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

Eating/Feeding

As a caregiver, your role in feeding your loved one goes beyond providing meals; it is a vital aspect of their overall well-being. Pay close attention to their cues, especially if they are unable to communicate verbally. Observing their facial expressions, body language, and even their eating habits can provide important insights into their preferences and needs. Pace bites and do not try to rush the meal, instead wait until you can see your loved one swallow or open their mouth and show that they are ready for the next bite. Their nutritional requirements directly impact their health and energy levels. Encouraging independence, when possible, can also be beneficial, allowing them to participate in their own feeding process. For individuals who are more independent, assisting with meal prep and grocery shopping can be a different form of help that we will go into later.

*Disclosure: All videos are embedded to guarantee the views count towards the creator

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Instrumental Activities of Daily Living

Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs) are the tasks that you might not think about every day, but they play a crucial role in your ability to live independently. Unlike basic daily activities like eating, bathing, and dressing (which are known as Activities of Daily Living or ADLs), IADLs include more complex tasks that help you manage your home and community life. Even for an able-bodied person, these tasks can sometimes be overwhelming. As a caregiver, you may also do these tasks in your personal life for yourself.

Examples of Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (Source: Cleveland Clinic)

IADL	What it involves
Managing money	Making a budget and planning for expenses. Using bank accounts, credit cards and other financial resources. Paying bills.
Managing a household	Doing chores like dishes, laundry and cleaning. Take care of personal belongings, including appliances, furniture and cars. Knowing who to contact for repairs or maintenance.
Managing health	Communicating with healthcare providers and scheduling appointments. Getting prescriptions filled. Understanding medication instructions and taking medications as prescribed.
Preparing meals	Planning and making meals using kitchen supplies (pots, pans, stove, etc.). Cleaning up afterward.
Communicating with others	Using phones, computers and other communication devices to reach out to others and receive calls or messages.
Managing transportation	Driving, walking or using other forms of transportation (like buses) to travel from place to place.
Shopping	Making lists and selecting items (like food, clothing and household supplies) to buy. Choosing how to pay and completing transactions.

Household Tasks

Cleaning and chores are parts of the day we think about, especially as other things are going on. Dusting, sweeping, mopping, unloading the dishwasher, washing and drying the laundry, feeding and walking pets -- as you can see the list continues to grow on top of the other tasks a caregiver has to do. Chunking these tasks into more manageable sections can be the difference between reasonable and unrealistic. Some ideas include:

• Wash the dishes while you cook/ while your loved one eats.

This only leaves the utensils and plate used during the meal, which can easily be swapped for disposable or recyclable plates and utensils if washing up just isn't on your list today. If your loved one is dependent on you to feed them, wash what you can while preparing the meals and then finish the last items once your loved one is settled and safe after feeding. If a dishwasher is an option, prepare it with soap and load it while you cook then run it when your loved one is finished eating.

If you simply can't do it today, a rinsed off plate in the sink won't be the end of the world and you can come back to it another day. Just be sure to rinse any excess food to avoid a pest infestation.

• Clean rooms while you're in them.

Wipe down baseboards, blinds, and fixtures while you are in the room with your loved one. If they're watching tv, take a few minutes to quick dust and sweep.

When you are preparing to get them out of bed, spend 2 or 3 minutes doing a fast dust of the room or wipe down with a damp rag. If its financially feasible, a robot vacuum may also help with upkeep, especially in homes with pets to avoid hair build up.

• Chunk laundry tasks together and limit it to once a week.

Wait until the laundry has enough clothes to be halfway full before running a load, unless the garments are very soiled or have fecal matter. Rather than running a load every time you are over, try to limit laundry to once or twice a week and plan to fold laundry while your loved one is occupied with TV, a book, or while they sleep.

If it benefits you more, you can also bring laundry to your own home to sort while you do your own laundry.

When and if it is an option, outsource cleaning to a company or individual who can come while you are present with your loved one, once or twice a month at a minimum.

Shopping/ Meal Preparation

Food and meal preparation are an unavoidable task. As we determined earlier, eating and feeding are one of the most important tasks to keep your loved one healthy. Simplifying the process is the goal here.

• Do grocery shopping when you shop for yourself.

Making separate trips to the store for your groceries and your loved one's groceries takes additional time out of your day. Instead, make separate lists and shop for both households at the same time. Keep shopping lists simple and find items that are easy for your loved one to eat in pinch like string cheese, pre-cut fruit, low sodium canned soups, and the occasional microwaveable meal.

For items like bread or vegetables, reduce waste by freezing them. Frozen vegetables without seasoning have similar nutritional values to fresh vegetables, and often can be microwaved in the bag or heated on the stove top in under 7 minutes. With bread, look for cheaper half loaves or place half the loaf in a sealable container and freeze the rest until it is needed. Prolonging the use of items helps avoid unnecessary trips to the store.

• Meal prep and use leftovers

Leftovers can be your best friend. If you often still make dinner for your own family after caring for a loved one, set aside a small portion for your loved one and bring it for lunch the next day. Cooking larger batches that can be split into meals throughout the week can also be helpful, to avoid cooking every day. Use measuring cups or a food scale to avoid overfeeding or over packing meals; this not only helps with food waste it also helps avoid overspending on food because less is thrown out.

If meal prep or meal ideas are hard to come up with, here are a few quick and easy meals that are healthy and can be portioned out for the week.

Microwavable containers can help your more independent loved one reheat meals without the worry of a gas stove, or hot burner. Another option is checking with your local Meals on Wheels or your loved one's insurance company to see if weekly food delivery is an option, especially if you are not able to be regularly available.

Health/Transportation

Keeping up with appointments is part one; getting your loved one to appointments is part two. With nearly all medical offices, health information cannot be given without explicit consent from the person being seen. It is important to gather consent and have your loved one sign forms that allow their medical information to be disclosed to you. These forms are usually called HIPPA Release form or a Medical Consent form.

If they are of sound mind, have the doctor's office email a copy, fax a copy, or provide one while your loved one is in office so they can grant consent for you to be informed. These forms, however, are not extendable across all the doctors they visit. Instead, each office must retain their own copy meaning your loved one would have to sign one for all of their specialists and physicians. An alternative option to get ahead of this is a Healthcare Proxy or Medical Power of Attorney. These are legal documents that give you the power to act on behalf of your loved one and be informed of their care. Again, it does require your loved one's consent.

If your loved one is no longer in a state where they can make decisions, it is extremely important to get a Medical Power of Attorney through an elder law specialist or directly with your county court. Usually, a spouse will be the first person assigned to make medical decisions when the loved one cannot. If that is not an option, additional relatives will then be assigned by hierarchy such as siblings, adult children, close friends, or a court appointed guardian.

Transportation to appointments is something we discussed in our previous post on I'm New to Caregiving, but its important to reiterate: if you cannot get them to an appointment, seek out local transportation through the city or county. Other options include private pay medical transport, private caregivers for appointments, insurance sponsored transportation, or as a last resort an Uber/Lyft/other rideshare.

Communication

If your loved one is more independent, keeping communication available can help prevent isolation. It also gives them an easy way to communicate with you in the case of an emergency. Voice activated devices like Alexa or Siri can help your loved one call you without a lot of mobility requirements. Educate them on how to use this feature, and how it can be used to contact you.

Managing Finances

Finances are a huge aspect of caregiving when your loved one can no longer make decisions or manage bills. It is also one of the top situations leading to elder abuse. The reality is most people who are retired or disabled live on a fixed income and have very little resources to gather more income. If you are new to caregiving, it may be a huge shock to see the little bit of money your loved one is expected to survive on. The average social security check as of 2026 is only $1976, for someone who retires at 65. This is hardly the cost of a mortgage in modern times.

This increased stress of managing their income can be exhausting at first, but much like the previous tasks, chunk things together to make it more manageable.

• Pay their bills when you pay yours

Many companies now have the option to shift due dates. If it is possible, reach out to utility companies, phone companies, and other bills they may have and try to get the due dates closer to your own. Rather than keeping up with bills every day of the month, you can pay their bills with their finances the same time you pay yours. If that is not an option either due to the time income comes in, or the companies not willing to move due dates, keeping a list of due dates can help keep up. Some people may also prefer paying all of the bills immediately once pay comes in.

• Get a Power of Attorney

If your loved one is unable to make decisions about their finances, a Power of Attorney or a Financial Power of Attorney may be beneficial so you can act on their behalf. Much like with medical doctors, financial institutions like mortgage loans or bank accounts operate on high security that require legal proof before they can disclose information to you. Getting ahead with a Power of Attorney (POA) can significantly reduce pushback when trying to make deposits, withdrawals, or payments from their account.

• Budget what you can

Negotiating with companies or shopping for new services can help reduce the financial strain for your loved one. Some of the controllable expenses like auto insurance, home insurance, cell phone or internet bills, grocery stores can all add up. Shopping around for better rates and prices can give a little breathing room to help cover future unexpected expenses.

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Be Realistic About Your Expectations

Make a list of realistic tasks you can do and prioritize them. Making sure medications are taken daily is a lot more important than unloading the dishwasher every day. Outsource what you can, if you can. Understand some of these tasks can and will be uncomfortable.

You may have to assist with toileting, with bathing, or your loved one may show unexpected sexual tendencies outside of their character. You may have bouts of frustration if your loved one fights or doesn’t want to do something. It is okay to walk away and save it for another day, as long as they are safe, clean, and fed.

For example, if your loved one is having a hard day and is aggressive when you need them to bathe, don’t force them to. Instead, offer to give them a “massage” where you use antibacterial wipes to clean them down or a relaxing foot bath and pedicure to get them comfortable with nail trimming hygiene.

If they are not willing to eat, don't force them. Instead, put the food away in the fridge or a container and offer to do something else. If eating is persistently an issue, try liquid calories with supplements like Boost, Glucerna, or another calorie dense drink suggested by their doctor.

If you feel yourself getting angry either due to the stress or your loved one's behavior, it's okay to walk away and take a break for a little while. Take the same approach that many new parents do with their crying babies: Make sure they are in a safe space and walk away. It doesn't make you a bad person -- it makes you human.

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More Support

When you're ready for the next step, check out some other ways you can prepare your loved one's home with Safety Proofing the Home and simplify routines for yourself, with Caregiver Day-to-Day.

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