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How to Talk to Your Doctor

  • Writer: Admin
    Admin
  • 11 hours ago
  • 5 min read

Visiting the doctor can sometimes feel rushed or overwhelming, especially when you have important concerns that need attention. Many older adults find it challenging to get their questions answered or to have their health issues fully explored during short appointments. This guide will help you communicate clearly and confidently with your doctor, so you get the most from every visit. You’ll also learn how to handle situations when a doctor seems reluctant to investigate a problem further or provide necessary documents.


Doctor measuring blood pressure
Doctor measuring blood pressure

Why Clear Communication Matters

Doctors often have limited time, and appointments can feel like a race against the clock. When you don’t express your concerns clearly, or if you hesitate to ask for what you need, important health issues might go unnoticed. Being prepared and direct helps your doctor understand your situation better and makes it easier to work together on your care.


Preparing for Your Appointment


Before you see your doctor, take a few minutes to organize your thoughts. Write down your symptoms, questions, and any changes you’ve noticed since your last visit. This simple step can keep the conversation focused and ensure you don’t forget important details.


Try to prioritize your concerns. If you have several issues, start with the most urgent or troubling, especially if it is the reason for your visit. This helps your doctor address what matters most to you first.


Bring a list of all medications, including vitamins and supplements. Sometimes, side effects or interactions can explain new symptoms.


If you feel comfortable, bring a trusted family member or friend. They can help remember what the doctor says and support you in asking questions.


For a free Pre-Appointment Sheet that you can bring to your appointment, click here.

Medication arranged by day
Medication arranged by day

How to Speak Up During Your Visit


When you’re in the exam room, it’s okay to be direct. Doctors appreciate patients who are clear about their needs. Here are some ways to make your voice heard:


  • Use simple, specific language. Instead of saying “I don’t feel well,” describe your symptoms: “I have sharp pain in my lower back that lasts for hours.”


  • Ask for clarification if you don’t understand. Say, “Can you explain that in a different way?” or “What does that mean for me?”


  • Repeat back what you hear. This confirms you understood correctly. For example, “So you’re saying I should take this medication twice a day?”


  • Request more time if needed. If the doctor seems rushed, politely say, “I have a few more concerns I’d like to discuss. Can we spend a little more time?”


Remember, your health is important. You have the right to ask questions and get clear answers, especially when you or your insurance is the one paying the bill.


What to Do When Your Doctor Refuses to Look Further


Sometimes, a doctor might dismiss your concerns or say no to additional tests or referrals. This can be frustrating, but there are ways to handle it respectfully and effectively.


First, ask for the reason behind their decision.

For example, “Can you help me understand why you don’t think further tests are necessary?” This shows you want to understand their perspective.


If you still feel your issue isn’t being addressed, you can request a second opinion.

Say, “I would like to get another doctor’s view on this. Can you help me with a referral?”


If you want a document or report from your doctor, such as test results or a summary of your visit, ask clearly and calmly.

You might say, “Could you please provide a written summary of today’s visit or any test results? I want to keep a record for my own understanding.”


If the doctor refuses to provide documentation, you have the right to request your medical records formally. Contact the clinic’s medical records department or your health system’s patient portal. By law, patients can access their records, though there may be a small fee or wait time.


If you are requesting a specific treatment or further treatment:


  • Be Direct and Calm: State, "Please document in my chart that I am requesting this test and that you are refusing it".


  • Request Records: Ask for the "After Visit Summary" (AVS) or "Progress Notes" before leaving the office.


  • (If Applicable) Use the Portal: Send a message via your patient portal confirming the request and the refusal to ensure it is in writing.


  • Request a Referral: If they refuse to test, request a referral to a specialist who can evaluate your symptoms.


  • File a Complaint: If the refusal seems biased or malicious, report the doctor to the state medical board or hospital patient advocate.


Tips for Making Requests Known Without Feeling Pushy


It’s natural to worry about sounding demanding or difficult. But being clear and polite is not the same as being pushy. Here are some ways to express your needs effectively:


  • Use “I” statements: “I feel concerned about this symptom and would like to explore it more.”

  • Show appreciation: “I appreciate your help and want to make sure we cover everything important.”

  • Be specific about what you want: “Could we schedule a follow-up to check on this issue?”

  • Stay calm and respectful, even if you feel frustrated.


Doctors are human too. They respond better when patients communicate openly and respectfully.


How to Follow Up After Your Visit


After your appointment, review any notes or instructions you received. If something is unclear, don’t hesitate to call the office for clarification.


If you asked for tests or referrals, check on their status. Sometimes paperwork gets delayed, and a polite follow-up can speed things up.


Keep a health journal or folder with your medical documents, test results, and notes from visits. This helps you track your health over time and makes future appointments smoother.


When to Consider Changing Your Doctor

If you consistently feel unheard or your concerns are dismissed, it might be time to find a new doctor. Good communication is key to quality care. You deserve a healthcare provider who listens and works with you.


Look for doctors who take time to explain things clearly and show interest in your questions. Ask friends or family for recommendations or check patient reviews.


Summary of Key Points

  • Prepare for your visit by writing down symptoms and questions.

  • Speak clearly and specifically about your concerns.

  • Ask for explanations and repeat back information to confirm understanding.

  • Request more time or a second opinion if needed.

  • Politely ask for documents or medical records.

  • Follow up on tests and referrals after your visit.

  • Consider changing doctors if communication is poor.


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