How Dementia Changes Communication
- Admin
- Jun 22
- 5 min read
Updated: Jun 23
Communication changes are often one of the first symptoms families notice after a dementia diagnosis. While memory loss tends to get the most attention, dementia can affect many parts of communication, including language, processing information, emotional regulation, and social interactions.
Not every person will experience the same changes, and not every symptom appears at the same stage. Understanding what may happen can help you respond more effectively and reduce frustration for both you and your loved one.
Forgetting Words
Your loved one may know exactly what they want to say but struggle to retrieve the word they're looking for. They may pause frequently during conversations, substitute an incorrect word, or describe an object rather than naming it directly. For example, instead of saying "refrigerator," they may say "the cold thing in the kitchen." One of the most common communication changes in dementia is difficulty finding the right word.
This can be frustrating because many people are aware that the word is missing but cannot access it. It may be tempting to finish the sentence for them, but rushing to do this can cause more frustration. It may cause them to shut down and stop communicating, rather than moving the conversation along. Give them a few extra seconds to find the word. If they continue struggling, gentle offer up the word or nod with understanding and allow the conversation to continue.
Try not to turn it into a guessing game or quiz. Avoid asking questions like "You know what it's called, don't you?" or "Did you mean this? Or maybe this? This?" Many times this can cause more frustration for the person with dementia. While forgetting words is one of the more common expectations, dementia also leads to other changes.
Repeating Questions and Phrases
Another common change is repetition.
Some people repeatedly ask the same question throughout the day, while others repeat stories, comments, or phrases during conversations. This usually happens because the information is not being stored in short-term memory, causing the person to return to the same thought repeatedly.
For family members, repetition can become exhausting, especially when the same topic comes up multiple times within a short period. While it may be tempting to say, "You already asked me that," this usually does not stop the repetition and may cause frustration or embarrassment.
Instead, answer calmly and consistently. If the question comes up frequently, consider creating a visible reminder such as a note, calendar, or schedule that can be referenced throughout the day. As the disease progresses other repetitive behaviors may occur like calling you frequently because they do not remember checking in, or brushing their teeth multiple times per day. Some repetition will be more frustrating than others, so active reminders that this behavior is not intentional can be helpful.
When the behavior is overwhelming, it is okay to remove yourself from the conversation or not answer every call. Your loved one is not trying to annoy or frustrate you; in their world, this is the very first time they are sharing it with you. When things get rough, it may help to look into Caregiver Support to see what other options are available to help you.
Losing Track of Conversations
Following a conversation requires multiple parts of the brain to work together at the same time. Dementia can make this process more difficult.
Sudden changes of topics, losing track of details, or difficulty maintain discussions with multiple people are possible. External distractions can make conversations even harder, as dementia affects the way the brain filters out "noise" in their environments. Large family gatherings, restaurants, and busy environments can become especially challenging because there is more information competing for attention.
When possible, reduce distractions during important conversations. Turning off the television, moving to a quieter room, or speaking one-on-one can make communication much easier. It also helps to focus on one topic at a time rather than jumping between multiple subjects. Use simple language and avoid complex jargon and lengthy statements. Give space for your loved one to speak leaving reasonable breaks for them to respond.
Difficulty Understanding Instructions
Tasks that involve multiple steps may become harder as dementia progresses.
You may notice that your loved one becomes confused when given several instructions at once, even if each step seems simple. Breaking information into smaller pieces often works better.
For example, something like, "Grab your shoes, get your jacket, and meet me in the car" may be difficult to process as a single instruction.
Give one instruction, allow time for it to be completed, then move on to the next. This reduces the amount of information that needs to be processed at one time. It can also help to avoid frustration for both of you.
Anger and Frustration
Communication changes can be frustrating for everyone involved, but especially for the person experiencing them. Many people with dementia are aware that something has changed. They may recognize that words are harder to find, that conversations are becoming more difficult, or that they are forgetting things they feel they should remember. That awareness can lead to embarrassment, anxiety, irritability, or anger.
Sometimes frustration appears during conversations when your loved one feels corrected, challenged, or rushed. Other times it may seem to come out of nowhere especially when they may be struggling to talk. If you notice irritation building, try slowing down the conversation rather than pushing through it. Give them time to respond.
Avoid correcting minor errors, like believing a shirt was red when it was really blue. If it does not affect the information they need to hear, don't acknowledge it and move on. Even when doing everything right, there will still be frustration. Don't take it personally and try to remember they are frustrated with the situation, not with you personally. Even direct verbal attacks may occur, but it is not worth engaging with. Dementia often changes personalities in ways we don't expect and are not a true reflection of the person.
Withdrawing from Conversations
As communication becomes more difficult, some people begin participating less in conversations. This is not usually because they lose interest. Embarrassment, frustration, and struggling to put together words can lead to a more resigned outcome. Continuing to include them in conversations remains important, even if their participation changes over time.
Ask simple questions. Give them time to answer. Avoid speaking about them as if they are not present. They are still there, despite the communication changes and preserving dignity can be just as important as the information being discussed.
While the changes come with hurdles, with time and practice.
To find out more about how dementia changes your loved one, check out Understanding Dementia Behaviors or move onto Dementia-Proofing Your Home for safety tips.
Pardon our ads, they allow us to keep our site running and keep our helpful content free to access.
Comments